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Harris,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.6. August. Both wifey and Peggy returned, neither with pants on. I helped wifey with a few practice eggs and soon she got the hang of it. We line Peggy and wifey up on the couch, moved the coffee table and inserted eggs, in both their butt holes. Peggy shot hers first, then wifey. Both shot the egg about three feet. A tie, so we loaded up again. This time Peggy won, wifeys just plopped out onto the couch. Round three another tie, and Peggy won round 4. Wifey being a sore loser didnt want a rematch, so we threw out the ass eggs and cleaned up. Peggy and wifey got pants on and we talked about where to go for dinner. We ran over to get burgers and got seated in a booth. Peggy sat across from me, wifey to my left. We got a few drinks and wifeys hand found my junk under the table. She rubbed and squeezed until I got a chub. Luckily we we in the back, not where it was crowded. Peggy saw wifeys arm movements and knew what she was doing, and smiled. I felt Peggys foot rubbing my balls as our food was.
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