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’ ‘Dad insisted, told him to man up, take responsibility for his mistakes. It was Dad’s suggestion to join the service, half decent pay, good benefits, training.’ ‘Benefits for the servicemen were good, I guess, not especially for the family, at least me. The doctor I saw for my three month check-up hadn’t examined a pregnant woman since med school, he told me. He didn’t realize, didn’t recognize the baby had problems. ‘Between that visit and the next, it died. Whether there was an infection, or the dead fetus caused an infection, they didn’t know, but the effect on my uterus was irreversible, it no longer produced a viable lining to support a fertilized egg. I know Tommy told everyone I miscarried, but they had had to abort a dead fetus. ‘I went home right after that and stayed with your folks for awhile. Ellie was teaching and you were in grad school, so the two of you were around quite a bit. As bad as I felt, that was a good time, just about the last good time. ‘Your Mom took me. She saw the faint flicker of a yellow flame. She finally found her voice..."Wh What is all this?" she asked. " I wanted to be able to spend this time with you, i didn't want to have to compete with others and i wanted you all to myself. I wanted you to be comfortable and us not be disturbed" As they got closer to the tent, she could also make out a blanket spread on the ground. Romantic..secluded..long awaited. Oh how she had pictured this in her mind over and over again through the years...it was like he had invaded her mind and pulled out her deepest fantasies. A single tear rolled down her face. He instantly became on edge. "Whats wrong? Did i do something wrong? Is it too much too soon? Are you having second thoughts?" He was panicking. She put a single finger to his lips..."Shhhh...its perfect" With that, she removed her finger from his lips and guardingly replaced it with her lips. This kiss, their first, was timid. She didn't want to scare him by being too forceful,.
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