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The fear did not go away completely, after the first few days it went from being ever present to just coursing through me whenever they got together. I knew I had done the right thing, and not telling my wife was my way of not making it a bigger deal than what it was.Another reason, probably the main reason, why I did not mention it to me wife was the fact that my fantasies of Jenny had gone into overdrive. I was masterbating at least twice a day with Jenny at the center of every fantasy scenario. I could still feel the brush of her hand on my shorts, I could still see her incredible breasts and amazing nipples. Every aspect of that encounter had be ingrained into my memory, and I went back to it at every opportunity.I wanted Jenny more than ever, and at the same time was terrified about what that could do to my marriage. I formulated a plan if I had another chance, and told myself that I could do it given another opportunity. Finally, my wife gave it to me.“Can you run over. The awesome possibility entered my head and I had to ask,“Have you ever had an orgasm?”“No.” The monosyllable made me sad. Throughout high school and undergraduate work at university I had repressed my sexuality. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a social life. I went on dates and engaged in sex but I always knew that I was predominantly into other women. I didn’t let that part of my sexuality emerge until I was in pre-med. Recalling the frustration I’d felt at my lack of satisfaction with partnered sex made it easy to empathize with my patient.‘At least I had masturbation to relieve the tension. This poor woman doesn’t even have that.’“This form is really only intended to give me some background information as a place to start… in this case it seems that it has served to define the problem… I mean the reason that you’re here,” I proposed.The fear and anxiety was still there but now her eyes were full and another emotion floated to the surface on those tears. I couldn’t read it precisely.
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