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I didn’t find out until later that you decided to take off your top while I was away. The drinking continued to the point where the cardboard box used to store the beer turned into my outfit. How I managed to squeeze into it is beyond me, but it served as a good laugh for those that were still awake that night. In the late hours of the morning, things started to peter off. People were falling asleep and returning to their own rooms. You had left and I was helping pick up the cans scattered about. I noticed you had left your shot glass behind. I saw this as my opportunity. I walked down the hallway in only my boxers, and quietly knocked on your door. You opened it just a crack, asked what I wanted, and I told you I was returning your glass. You had your body positioned in a way that only your face was showing, but smiled and invited me in.I stepped in quickly as not to be spotted in the hallway. It was only then I realized you were nearly naked. I quickly sat in your. I fell apart too swiftly to be prepared for your fall. There were too many things that we lost in the fall. Through every anxious moment praying for opposing miracles, every heated exchange, every accusation, every bloody name that scraped by our throats in resistance, through every fight and every moment that we spent trying to run away from each other, turning shame into spite and reflecting our self-loathing onto each other, we lost our spark. We lost our pride, our hope, our dignity, our innocence. Worst of all, we lost our idealism, the trait that we shared, the spiritual being that connected us when we joined our hands together, lost in the stars and each other. I felt inadequate. Was I not worth living for? I feel nothing but shame for every moment of it. I wish you’d come back here, to where I first discovered you. I wish I could beg your forgiveness, I wish I could take your hands again and convince you with every cell in my being that I still loved you, that it was myself I.
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