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Being his sub gives me a deep sense of contentment. A feeling of being "at home". When I think about it it makes me aroused and wet. When I reflect for longer (like now) I can feel a pressure in my chest which is the bundled up feelings and overwhelming devotion. I am his sub and will do whatever He asks me to do whenever he asks me and with whomever He decides. I do not need to think about it. This leaves me free to devote my attention to doing it well. In my vanilla life I am a decision maker and a driver and impatient to get things done. When I have decided on something I go for it. Bridging this gap is something I am still learning. I have to remind myself as his sub that it is not about me. As his sub I must learn to be patient and wait until He tells me to do something. For example I would like to have some Ben wa balls so that I can train my vaginal muscles to be tight despite all the stretching they regularly endure. The vanilla me wants to rush out and buy some and start. " Well, if there was ever a place to people watch, this is it."April chuckled. She was quite right."You don't seem to have a problem getting' ... jiggy with it? Is that the parlance? I saw you sneaking off with Kim and Rashid last night. Good time was it?" It had its moments. They definitely have a 'thing'." Do they, now?"April began to realize this was derailing. She was answering the questions, not asking them."Oh yes. So is John enjoying all this?"Brenda sighed. "John always enjoys himself. He has no problem doing that, wherever we are." Hedonist eh?"Brenda pushed herself up on the massage bed and looked back at April."You see his hair? That's forty-five minutes a day. He's a bit vain, he's very egotistical, and frankly, hedonist is too mild a word."April just looked back at her – a good silence was necessary here – and then Brenda sighed again and pushed herself back down."It would be comical and I'd leave him in a heart beat if I didn't love him. And I do. Despite his needs for.
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