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" Don't worry genious, I'm sure all other aliens don't get sarcasm either. Why are you here at the middle of the night? If you are finally going back to your home planet and you came to say goodbye to me, I will miss you." Leonard is in his room with my mortal enemy, Leslie Winkle. She is either having a very good time or she is a very religious person beacause God is being called out aloud. I couldn't sleep so I came here. Can I spend the night on your couch?" Sure. Lemme get you a blanket."An idea struck Penny. A very wicked idea. Try as she did, she could not force it out of her head. The fact that she had not been with a man for quite some time spurred her on. She decided she was going to fuck Sheldon Cooper tonight. Part of the reason she had not been with another man since the breakup was that she felt like she was cheating on Leonard, but he was screwing Leslie's brains out so that meant she could do it too. "Shelly, I cant seem to locate my spare blanket...." Hey hey hey,. Okaaaaaay..." Timothy didn't know how to take this. "Do you, uh.... want to come in?" "We are not allowed to set foot inside of a customer's residence for our own safety and for the integrity of our role as delivery-people." Timothy slow blinked at the talking tit-less employee handbook and then moved to open the envelope. Inside was a single piece of paper, a smaller envelope and a single one dollar bill. He'd obviously struck the jackpot. The letter read Dear Timmy, You probably don't remember your uncle Magnus but I remember you. We had such fun together when you were brand new to the world and full of nothing but mirth and meconium. Our time together during your infancy was short but, seeing as that you are my only living relative who does not wish me ill I have decided to bequeath to you my most precious possession. You've won, my boy. A victory by default mind you but a victory nonetheless. Sadly, your win means my loss. I am assuredly food for worms as you read this chicken.
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