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But I did not feel there would be an end to it tonight. There was a plan and I had it.Dinner was wonderful and I did not want to leave but I had to, it was part of the plan. I knew I would see Franklin again but this had to end tonight. He asked if I wanted desert and I told him no, the evening was over. All he had to do was pay the bill and I would be gone by then. He would never be able to find me.As I was walking to the door my cell phone went off. Out of habit I just answered it."Ester, you name is not Susan, I have already cancelled your cab, dinner is not over, come back and have desert." I looked around and Franklin was smiling at me holding his cell phone up. I was busted.I came back, a little depressed at being caught, and wondering what he would say or do. He stood as I approached and returned me to my seat, holding my hand but this time he moved in to my right. He was very close to me and put his left arm around my shoulder. He was not angry, just amused and I blushed. Another flash of memory.My mother, weeping at the kitchen sink, was holding a sheaf of medical papers in her hand. She stared at the papers as if they were a palpable enemy that she could rend, tear, or kill. Her tears were hard and angry – but soft, and almost helpless. Hindsight cleared up so much, and I now know the anguish she felt as the sterile, white forms pronounced her death sentence.For millennia I lingered in the valley of death. There were no shadows in that valley, only blackness, silence, and emptiness. My mind went away again. I drifted on the smokescreen of memory, and visited myself on places and people I'd not thought about for ... well, for the rest of my life.The first sounds I heard that were not from my manufactured memories, were the sounds made by cloth sliding over cloth. The sounds may have been present for a very long time, or just a second, but I separated the sounds from those of mind, and spirit, hoarding them, because it was so novel.In the presence of.
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