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"You're probably right," I agreed solemnly.Dr. Payton looked down at her notepad."Mark ... I think I can understand why Sharon would do what you describe. It's a slightly unusual self-destructive behavior, but that's what we often see happen with people that are coping with the loss of a loved one."It's called 'survivor's guilt.' They wonder why they deserve to still be alive when someone they loved so much is dead. When they can't consciously resolve that question for themselves, they subconsciously try to balance the scales by hurting themselves."Something dawned on me. "What kind of doctor are you?"Dr. Payton looked surprised. "I'm sorry; I thought you knew, Mark. I'm a psychiatrist." Well, that's good," I said slowly. "You could talk to Sharon about her side of it when she comes to see me." I'll be glad to, Mark. Have you talked to her much about her feelings after your mom's death?" Some. But we don't like to talk about it too much. I guess we just need more time." That could. It's very hard onyou, isn't it?" "Of course it's hard being separated. I miss him," she answered softly. Frankelpicked up the picture of him masturbating while smiling at the camera, heldit up and looked at her pupils while she stared at it. Damn right she needsit, he thought. Frankel got up, walked behind her chair and put his hands onher shoulders. She trembled. "You must be so lonely." He slid his hands slowly down the front of her shirt. "Wehave to enforce the rules against homosexuality and masturbation but that doesn'tmean you have to be completely frustrated here." He cupped her breasts. Anitastiffened with fear but didn't dare pull away. "Nice," he said softly. "Shame to let these go to waste." He fondled herfor several minutes. She relaxed a little but her relief was short lived. Hetold her to stand and pushed her gently backward until she stood against thewall. She whispered "please don't" when he started to unbutton her shirt. He smiledat her helpless fear and pushed her.
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