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When I got older, I realized that church wasn’t for me, what with various beliefs and doctrines, so I stopped going. I finally settled on that I believe that there is SOMETHING out there, but not ‘God’ as he/she was presented to me when I was a child. Some part of my brain just couldn’t handle all of the crap that was served to me on the silver platter that was organized religion. So, here I am without something to believe in when, apparently, I need something. I’ve thought about medication for anxiety. I’ve talked to my doctor and read through the effects and side-effects. I don’t think meds are the answer. It’s the worst at night. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired. He knelt, kissed her again, travelling from mouth to nipple to belly to grin. He began to attend to her. In a serious fashion. Slowly, deliberately, listening to her and responding or teasing as appropriate.Now he stood, and rugged down his swimming trunks. She couldn’t help a slight feeling of disappointment at his size. Everything about him was the ultimate in sexuality and she had been imagining something of seven or eight inches to match. Still, it made it slightly easier to blow him, and she worked with some of the same attentiveness he had shown her.She had just undone her bikini top and thrown away her bottoms when the phone rang.“Jesus,” he said, getting to his feet.“Leave it,” she told him, precum on her lips, a longing to be touched in every limb.“We both know there are some calls one can’t ignore,” he said, smiling and pulling up his swimwear. “But I won’t take long over it.”And he was gone.She was slightly pissed off. She tried to enjoy simply sunbathing on the poolside..
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