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....What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave to sort herself out. Susan begged me to be kinder to Amanda and ended her email by adding that she really believed that Amanda thought what she was doing was for both our benefits and begged me to call Amanda for a chat if I still cared about her to help her through her depression.That evening I sat down and composed a long email in which I explained all my feelings, the betrayal, the sickness in my stomach and how I hated her and myself for letting it happen, I reminded her how I had accepted. I took her hand in mine. She was sitting beside me, very close so that she can apply wet cloth on my knee. Her eyes on my rising penis were making me forget of my pain. I purposely held her hand close to my penis which was brushing her backhand.Her breathing was getting heavier. Her boobs were rising on every breath she took. I pretended to be in a lot of pain. I removed my hand from her hand put on on her shoulder and brought her closer. I kept my head on her shoulder to bear the pain.My lips were touching her collarbone. She then removed her hand from my penis and put it on my shoulder almost like half hugging. Her boobs were touching my chest. My lips were tasting her skin below the collarbone. My chin was rested on the upper surface of her boobs which were rising on every breath she was taking.I knew if not today, it will never be. I had to make a move. We stayed that way for a few minutes. Then she was getting up. But I wouldn’t let her go. I didn’t want to break the trance we.
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