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”“Will you say it in Russian?”“I did that once and had the misfortune of my mom hearing me say it. I got my mouth washed out with Ivory soap at age twelve.”“She’s not listening!”“You don’t know my mom!” I laughed. “The walls have ears!”“Oh, come on!”“«Ёб твою мать» is the most common form, but you can just say «твою мать». And, oh look, here’s my mom with a bar of soap!”“Suuuuureeee!” Janey laughed. “I don’t think Tasha said that.”“There is nothing on this planet that would make Tasha say that. Heck, she may not even know it, because even the old men like my grandfather don’t say that one out loud except in the rarest of situations, and then with a very specific audience.”“How did you learn it, then?”“How do you think? I asked!”Janey laughed, “I wish I could have seen the twelve-year-old Mike asking, ‘how do I call someone a motherfucker?’!”“That’s not QUITE how it went, but they did laugh. I learned quite a few words that day which my mom does NOT appreciate!”“I bet! I’ve heard you. Why rescue me?”“As I said, I used to be a mercenary, just like my father. My mother was a whore. She raised me until I was ten, then my father came to pick me up. That was about eight winters ago. I traveled with his party, first cooking and taking care of the general stuff. Later, at an age of thirteen, I started to go to battle with them.That was until last fall when my father died. He was struck down by a crossbow in his throat, leaving me with nothing but his boots, sword and shield. That was the time I decided I wanted to leave my son with a greater heritage than that.So I sold the shield and ventured south west to this great kingdom, with its king and lords, that it had heard so much about.He felt Larissa shiver against him, so he covered them with the blanked. Then ‘Marvin’ resumed his story.“And there I was walking a road in these to hot lands, when I heard sounds besides the road. So I snuck on hands and feet to investigate what was going on, just to see a woman getting.
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