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Staring at my strange reflection. Feeling deserted. Later that evening Mum tapped lightly on my door/ came in/ handed me a box of Tampax without a word and left/ pulling the door gently shut behind her. It was like she was saying *There you go Rachel. Youll just have to get on with it.* A few months later – when my own period finally arrived – I bled all over the linoleum carpeting in our bathroom trying to put the tampon in. I dont think Ive ever felt more alone. Mum was happy to play stupid games and dress me up like some doll but any mention of menstruation – a REAL symbol of my approaching womanhood – and she just clammed right up. She was more scared of my body than I was. And now here I am. The peak of my sexuality. Its time I learned to love this body. In fifteen or twenty years time the smooth skin will stretch and sag and wrinkle. My hair will turn grey. *** (IN HER MIND SHE URGES) Lying alone in the darkness of the guest room she often recalled those squirming. She was wearing a black top and blue jeans, was looking damn sexy. In the meanwhile, the train came and I boarded in 2nd AC.After settling down, I saw that this girl is bidding goodbye to her parents and boarding the same train, same boogie. And to my luck, she came to the same compartment as mine and had a side upper berth (mine was lower). Till now, it was only two of us in that compartment. The next station was HBJ and there a family of 4 boarded. They were also the same compartment but had a side lower. Now, as you have curtains in 2nd AC, they requested me to take that side lower (yes under that girl’s berth) so that the entire family sits together.I readily agreed to it and took the side lower berth. Since, it was evening time, that girl also had no intention to go to her berth and sleep so she was sitting on my berth at the other end. I really wanted to talk to her but could not gather courage as I was always uncomfortable with girls (except my ex-gf), somehow I gathered.
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