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“I don’t know,” she countered, “I have a fat ass. I need to lose a few pounds.”“Give me a break,” I replied. “There isn’t a guy I know that would kick you out of bed with a body like yours.”“Oh Gawd,” she replied, “if I could only be so lucky as to find that guy.”The conversation was flowing well.“How about another beer?” I asked.“OK,” she replied. I foraged past some leftovers in the refrigerator, for the last of my beer stash. I grabbed the last two beers and turned around. She was standing right behind me and I almost knocked her over, in my rush to get back to the patio. I immediately tossed out an apology as she backed up and caught herself on the counter top.“Oh shit- I’m sorry,” I quickly remarked.“That’s OK,” she replied, “I was simply going to ask you if you had anything else to drink besides beer.”How about a Clamato, I asked. She had no idea what a Clamato was, so I explained it was half beer and half spicy tomato juice.“That sounds gross,” she replied.“Try it,” I. We piled into Julie's car since it was the closest. It was a black Volkswagen Jetta with a bumper sticker that read: ENGINEERS DO IT WITH PRECISION. I climbed behind the wheel and, at Julie's insistence, Maureen took the shotgun position. Julie herself crammed into the cramped back seat.Douglas and Sunrise was in one of the seedier parts of our suburb and the drive took about fifteen minutes. On the way over Maureen once again embarrassed me by describing in exacting detail my vasectomy, which I had undergone shortly after the birth of our second child and which she had watched."The doctor put him in one of those stirrup chairs just like they have in the gynecologist's office," she told her new friend."He didn't!" Julie said, laughing at the thought."He did!" she confirmed. "And then he tied his... you know... his..." His dick?" she suggested, making both of them crack up and making a fresh blush appear on my face."Right," Maureen said. "He tied his dick up to his shirt with this.
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