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But, the greatest gift of all, a gift beyond compare, better than winning an Oscar or a Golden Globe, was Amelia carrying Rufus into my bedroom, placing him at the foot of the bed and climbing in next to me. With music playing softly, just before I fell asleep, at that last moment of consciousness when the world loses hard reality and soft dreams beckon, I heard her whisper very, very quietly, “I love you, Mike.”I couldn’t imagine a better gift.“Quiet on the set! Tapes rolling? Let’s get some room tone, now.”I grinned to myself. I found ‘room tone’ funny for some reason. It was one of those things most people never thought about or noticed unless it was missing. In commercials, room tone was added in-between scenes or added to edited inserts. Every studio has different sounding silences. You can’t insert digital silence to film or you’ll notice; a deadness that makes you think you’ve lost your hearing and need to clear your ears.I waited while they filmed and recorded room tone. It. We shouldn't have done that."Josh said nothing but only nodded."I know I started it," I said, "and you were perfectly sweet for not pushing it further because you absolutely could have and I would have been ok with that at the time." Why would you have been ok with it then?" Because I was drunk!"Josh looked at my slyly. He knew that wasn't the only reason."And because..." I started, "you know..." Go on..." he coerced with a smile."Because I'm attracted to you. Because I haven't been with someone in a while. Because the whole night I was hoping you were watching me."We heard my parents come back in and the front door shut. We had to cut this short."Well," he said with a wink, "I guess I better be going."***It was getting late and my parents were going to bed. I was lonely, had nothing to do, no obligations, and all I could think about was Josh."Why didn't I just let him kiss me," I thought to myself. I could have probably been with him right then if I had just let him.
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