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Truth be told, I like it better myself when you do." Well," I continued. I've been doing a lot of research on the internet. Iwas wondering?" I started and stopped suddenly. Could I go on with this? "What is it Joan?" I was wondering when I could start hormone therapy." There, I'd said it.Maybe Dad would accept me better when I was his "actual" daughter and notjust some "sissy boy" (as he described me.) I so wanted breasts of myown. If my voice started to deepen, I thought I'd die. The faint fuzz ofa beginning mustache had appeared magically out of nowhere over the lastfew weeks. Aunt Vivian eyed me silently for what seemed like forever. My eyes beganto cloud over with tears. None had fallen, but like the borg had said:"resistance is futile." You know sweetheart, I'm a psychotherapist and not a psychiatrist." Ilooked at her curiously trying to figure out what she was trying to tellme. "That simply means that I'm not a medical doctor. I can't writeprescriptions." We sat there silently. " I did, and then she putsome of the same glue on it as my breast forms, and then I had to put itback on. She didn't let me move until the glue stuck.She said, "Now, go get your bikini, and let's see how you look." I ranupstairs, embarrassed by what she had done to me, and wanting to hide myhatred, which was about to explode. I got the bikini off the hanger. Itied the top part around myself, and found that if these were mybreasts, I would never go anywhere, as little as the top covered. Ithen stepped into the bottoms, and pulled them up. I walked over to themirror, and they looked like they felt, a perfect fit. My humiliationwas now complete, or so I thought.The next day was Saturday. I knew that with the weather getting nicer,and school getting out, I would be forced to wear the bikini soon. MyDad took the cover off our backyard pool, and my Mom told me that wewere having a pool party tomorrow. I dreaded what was coming, but Momkept me busy getting food ready for the next.
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