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"Plenty," Satan said. "If I can't land the little pervert by then, I don't deserve her cake." God looked at his watch. "Well, it's 10 minutes past eight... I'll leave you until 10 after eight tonight," he said. "I'd wish you luck, except..." Then he was gone. Satan took a few minutes to consider his plan of attack before materializing himself. First, he decided it would be a mistake to appear in his old man guise. He chose a new form - sort of a cross between Tom Selleck and George Clooney. He figured this little fag would go for that. He sat down at the table and took a deep breath... then materialized into the human world. "Good morning, my dear," he said brightly. "Oh, my God," Robin said, turning around and holding one hand to her chest. "Who are you? How did you get in here?" Satan smiled and did his favorite little trick. He flexed his fingers, allowing just a small spurt of flame to escape, and then materialized a gold-engraved business card. "Permit me to introduce myself,". Fill me with your love, your life!' At that precise moment, I reached again for the regulating lever, intending to increase by mere degrees my pelvic pummelling, but my fingers, still greasy from the dripping, slipped and pushed it too far. In desperation, I grabbed again, yet my fingers could not gain sufficient purchase, succeeded instead to push the lever beyond my reach. The machine reacted in the only way it could, in the exact manner of its design. Wheels spun faster, the spring expanded, cogs meshed and almost silently reached the full extent of their potential. The beam bucked back and forth. The piston blurred. Frozen in horror, I looked on in morbid fascination, not daring to move lest I was torn apart by the monster I had created. Oh God! If they found me! Found me like this! Face fixed in a grotesque grin. Belly torn open. Blood-spattered breasts bared. Lifeless body stuffed full of lifeless metal. I clenched my jaw, tensed my muscles, and determined to outlast him, ride.
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