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He hears a priest come in:"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".Dear Abby,My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to paythe bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?Signed: CluelessDear Clueless: Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore! You're running for President of the United States. Act like one.This one is compliments of ChuckThis is. Chalmers, while I was staring into my newly semi-filled fridge trying to decide what I was going to have for dinner."That was fast," I said as I opened the door, but rather than the male figure of Mr. Chalmers that I'd been expecting, it was a small, plump 40-something woman."Oh excuse me, Mr. James," she said in a familiar voice. "I know I shouldn't have dropped in unexpectedly." Not at all ... Mrs. Ibarra?" I ended in a question, though I had little doubt of her identity."Please, its Edwina," she reminded me."Of course, please come in!" I stepped aside and waived her in. "I was expecting the technician for the internet company to be coming by. When the doorbell rang, I thought you were him." Well, I won't stay long," she said, which was when I noticed the foil-wrapped object in her hands. "I thought to drop something by for you, in case you hadn't gotten yourself situated." Thank you, that's very kind," I offered sincerely. So much for my dinner plans. "I've put a few things in the.
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