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" Jake told the older Jinn. "Of course Master Jake," Rasmir said then his face fell as shock took its place, as Jake whispered to him. "I am not so sure that this is a good plan Master Jake." "As I see it, this may be the only we have of defeating them and her." Jake replied. "NO Master Jake! It is far too dangerous!" Rasmir nearly shouted. Jake smirked a moment and shook his head, "Unless you have a better idea this is all we have to go on." Rasmir started to speak then realized that he really had nothing to suggest. __________________________________________________ Far out in the dessert Qistina, Nuha, Abla, Fatin, and Tankena pulled up short. They had been following a small feeling of power not much but enough that Qistina felt it would help. Laughing she thought a few good spells and these weaklings would make great sacrifices when they started to attack. Suddenly Qistina felt the power start to drop almost to nothing! What was going on?. Most were complimentary but several with some sincere criticism. I went back and did a thorough spell and punctuation check, and fixed some run on sentences, also paragraphs were too long. One person pointed out that I was being unrealistic on how long I was having my character hit a golf ball, the story was a fantasy but hey he was right about it being unrealistic, and he had brought it up politely so no reason not to make a change. After making those corrections I reposted the story awaiting further comments and hoping for a few compliments.There were some attaboys and requests to keep writing, but another reader pointed out that my story would go better if it was a girl protagonist rather than a male, so Robert became Roberta and I reposted.This was followed by a deluge of emails. I had forgotten to do a search and replace for; he, him, and his. I said a few choice words but made the corrections and reposted.Again a few good comments but one really good thought. Golf though played.
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