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”“Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals. Her blood pressure is fine. She is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon.”The woman said, “What a relief! Oh, that’s fantastic ... that’s wonderful news!”The nurse said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!”“Neither! I’m Sarah Finkel in Room 302! Nobody here tells me shit.”10 funny random thoughts to about 2016Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky ... not. Which is why, after the apple harvest was over that year and things settled down, I tried to pay Lynne rent one day. It happened to be just before breakfast. Why that was important will be explained later."You don't owe me rent," said Lynne."But I live here," I said, needlessly."For which you pay me by working," she said. "If anything, I should be paying YOU. Your labor is worth a lot more than just room and board." Nonsense," I snorted. "I'm homeless, and you're being kind."She snorted. "If I didn't know better I'd SWEAR you were trying to get me in bed, Bob MacAllister."That was out of the blue, until I remembered another time when she'd said something like that. That time I had stuck my foot in my mouth and she hadn't talked to me for a couple of days. Jill had patched things over, though. So I probably should have just smiled mysteriously or something and left it at that. But oh no ... I just had to try to tease her."You sure do talk about sex a lot," I said."I do not!" she.
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