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"You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and hard work will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.This one is compliments of IgorSix Affairs:The First Affair:A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took. ‘You don’t owe me a thing, Rosie,’ he softly told her, reaching across the small table to pat the back of her hand. ‘But I’d like to hear if you want to tell me.’ ‘I owe you a lot,’ she contradicted him, sitting back in the padded chair and pulling the robe tighter around herself. Maybe she should just rip it off and fuck him, right? That’s what she was good at. But it wasn’t the answer right now. Face up to it, she told herself, forcing herself to add, ‘and I’d like to tell you.’ The redhead eased herself up from her seat as if her body was aching. It was the pain in her mind that made her movements cumbersome. She stood walked across to the door to the bathroom, pausing before retracing her steps and flopping back down in her seat. Elbows on her knees, head on her hands, the second long sigh calmed her down. Enough for her to begin her tale, at least. She straightened up so that she could stare into Daniel’s eyes and watch his reaction to her words. When he heard her story, this.
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