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That was multiplied by three and as I've gotten to know each of you I've grown to love you too. Not smart maybe but you don't really have control over the people you fall in love with."I certainly hadn't had the opportunity to before.I saw Hailey get up and go to the water; she kept wading across the pool. Anna, remaining on the sand, looked a little upset. I watched Hailey energetically scrubbing herself with her hands and asked Rosalee to let me up."Just for a while love, but I think I need to talk to the others for a minute or so."I sank down next to Anna and saw the tears in her eyes. I squeezed her hand gently."I think I understand. Wait a bit."Then I went and sat with Hailey.She turned and threw herself at me so she could cry into my shoulder. I let her get the worst out of her system."Can I tell you about a person who had been brought up believing something and who had then found that she wasn't sure it was true? It left her scared about herself, and about what she was going. The sexual frustration was causing a lot of stress as well, I had taken to masturbating frequently when she was either out or asleep. The intimacy had completely gone from our relationship and we had become more like close friends who shared a house. I was carrying a lot of guilt over my libido – I knew the lack of sex was a problem but I felt like a bastard for letting it affect our relationship, as I loved her and I didn’t want that to be the reason for ending a relationship. Truthfully, it had been over for a while. I had fully supported her throughout her health problems, so much so that she eventually started taking me for granted. She made very little effort to make me feel wanted or loved, and I was facing the harsh reality that our relationship was over. It took me a year to face the facts and tell her that I wanted to end it, but then she gave me a glimmer of hope when she begged me not to end it, and that she would try harder. So we gave it another go, and it seemed like.
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