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I want to be happy, but the problem is that I don't want to take any chances on being hurt or disappointed. I'm pretty convinced though that I've got to take those risks if I want to be happy. I'm just not sure that I will ever be able to. Maybe I'm more afraid of the possible bad than I'm wanting the good. Anyway, ma, thanks for talking with me about it." Jimmy, feelings aren't like math problems, or like other things where you can carefully measure out the different potentials, submit it to risk/reward analysis and receive a host of quantifiable probabilities. Feelings are different. What you want from me is some equation where "x" amount of happiness is equal to "y" amount of sorrow. OK, this is as close as I can get to giving some kind of measurement for you. If I could go back and have one more week with Vince, another perfect, happy week, I'd gladly trade it for whatever life I now have left to me. I hope that answers the question that you really wanted answered. I know it's. We set off for the cinema, I bought the tickets and my small band of wanton women trooped in, I had told them to dress in fairly old stuff as it might get messed up, Dresses with as many buttons as possible, no underwear but Ellie insisted on a bra and self-supporting stockings so that there would be no fuss with tights, we took seats and it had been decided that Christina would sit with me at the back so that she could observe and learn, Sonia and Ellie were sat a row but one in front of us, about 4 seats in from the end of the row, if either of them got into problems they would shout, another couple sat in front of Christina and I but I could still see the girls because of the staggered arrangement of the seats, the lights dimmed and the film started, I could see the knees of the girls from my position, the angle of the seats was quite steep so I had an elevated view, Christina was fidgeting and kept looking at me and smiling, it was the first time I had been with her since the.
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