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Either that or I am in one of my low pain cycles. I’ll know in a couple of days. For the very most part the pain is barely noticeable and the noise is a very quiet hum. I can almost think but not quite. Wisps of story ideas are slipping from behind the wall. If I put any effort toward it pressure starts building so I’m not there yet.One of our Oak members sent me some music recommendations to help with the anxiety issues. So far, I haven’t got past the first song “Weightless” by the Marconi Union. It was specifically designed by the composers in conjunction with sound therapists to reduce anxiety. It works superbly. It’s on youtube. I’m also using it to see if I can learn to meditate again. One of the reasons my anxiety is through the roof is my illness took my ability to do deep meditation which I have done since I was in my middle teens.When I was younger I had the feeling that a lot of young people people do of being an outsider. I also had the unfortunate experience of having it. I felt so much for her now after our close relations for last few months that I was happy to share my husband with her for her some happiness. But I would not allow them to kiss or sleep together. It will be just fucking and I will sit in the room so that I can see what’s happening. Then one day I told all my thought to Chaya. She was very surprised but I could see she was very very interested. She just said, “are you sure?” I said yes as long as you promise no kissing and not try to seduce him. It will be simply fuck to give you pleasure. I said laughingly ” it will at least give some rest to my vagina time to time?”She said she has no intention of doing any love session with Mukesh. She will be very happy if she gets some very good fucking which she misses so much specially after hearing all these.One idea came to my mind is to show her first what she will get without telling Mukesh. If she really likes it and sure she can take that penis then I will let Mukesh fuck her.So I told.
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