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"Gentlemen, kindly make yourselves comfortable. There is wine on the sideboard, please help yourself. It is now 6:15 PM, and punishment drill commences precisely at 6:30. Please be in your seats and looking through your peepholes at that time so that you do not miss witnessing any part of the ritual. I go now to make my final preparations, and I shall return within ten minutes of the conclusion of this evening's activities. Oh, and one more thing. You will find, hanging on the side of each of your chairs, a soft towel. Should you find that what you witness this evening causes a bit of, shall we say, 'tension' and you feel compelled to relieve same by an act of self-abuse, the towel will serve to contain or clean up any evidence of such."With that, she departed up the stairs and left the three gentlemen to their own devices."I say," said Reggie with a sly chuckle as he watched Mrs. Q's fine backside disappear up the stairs, "I, for one, can think of a much more pleasant receptacle for. It was fucking beautiful. She was a black raven with the darkest eyes Ive ever seen. I ripped its head off ozzy style, and immediately started fucking the hole. I was becoming a man goddamnit, and this was a great start. After that experience, I screamed out,"FUCK THIS PLACE!" like a badass motherfucker. I was wearing a white fedora and fucking rayban sunglasses. I was looking swag as fuck. This real hot bitch heard me and ran over, her overweight stomach bouncing around like fucking santa clause on LSD. I immediately got my katana out and sliced the fuck out of that bitch, all samurai style. Out of nowhere, a helicopter came down through the ceiling and president Bill "Fucking" Clinton hopped out with saxaphone in hand. He played the fuck out of that saxaphone for at least 3 hours before anybody gave a shit. I arrived at home to see the best thing I may have ever witnessed. My mom was eating my father, and luckily my cousin was over. I ripped his pants off and ate the shit out of.
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