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”“That’s what worries me,” Jane told me. “She might come up with something we don’t anticipate.”I shrugged. “I’m not going back to her. Someday, there might be enough time for the wounds to heal so I can forgive her, but she’ll never be what she was to me. Not ever again. The best she could ever hope for would be for me to consider her a friend. The monumental task of gaining that much of my affection is probably beyond her. If she saved one of your lives, I think I could go that far. What she’d have to do to create a better outcome would be so out of this world that she might as well not get her hopes up.”“What if she tried to commit suicide?” Jane asked pointedly.“I’d give her a taste of her own medicine,” I said. “Every time I told her that I’d rather she’d shot me in the head than what she’s put me through, she’d slap me and tell me not to even think like that. Or maybe I won’t even react. I don’t know, but I know that taking a handful of sleeping pills isn’t going to get me back. Some kids don’t learn until they are much older, in their teens. Mikael knew he was lucky to have such a great daughter, such a perfect reminder of Michelle.*** Weeks passed and Mikael started to adjust living without Michelle. He had to take care of Jamie and that’s what kept his mind off everything really. In the mornings he would wake her up, dress her, pack her lunch, take her to school and then head to work. After work he would pick up his daughter, sometimes even stopping after school to talk to her teacher. When they got home, he would ask her all about her day, help her with homework, watch silly kid movies with her, prepare dinner, and every few days, bathe her. He would put her to bed, read her a story and then sit on the couch watching TV until he passed out. Mikael couldn’t sleep in his bed anymore. It felt too weird. He stopped after one night when he rolled over towards Michelle’s side to put his arm around her and only found the pillow. He sat up that night and cried..
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