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I opened the door, she looked at me and said “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and have sex tonight. Are you doing anything?” I quickly replied “Nope, I’m free!” “Great” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife ... but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel. “Sir, you look extremely young. I can’t serve you even a single beer”. “Oh c’mon. You can’t just slide me one?” “Can’t and will not serve to anyone under age”. “Fine. Well what other things do you have?” “Well for non-alcoholic drinks I have tap water and bottled water, I have coffee, and I have pop. Which would you like?” “Pop” goes the weasel.Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. There was an alcoholic, one was a chain-smoker, and one was a homosexual.The. I think she's been working too hard." Clemmie" - Tansie and I both called her that, or "Clem Kadiddlehoffer," if we were kidding her, but only when we three were alone in the office, not at the hospital, I remembered, too late - seemed to relax and she just stood there looking at me, but with a slightly goofy expression instead of the alarm she had just expressed.Clemmie was a good-looking brunette, unmarried, a dedicated nurse, maybe about thirty with what I considered a stunning figure, even in a nurse's whites. I had wondered idly to Tansie if Clemmie were lesbian, but Tansie had grinned and said she had never tried to put the make on her and if she'd been so inclined there had been plenty of opportunities.I knew Tansie was no lebbie, she and I had exchanged some pretty hot embraces once or twice in her office, but she'd always pulled away too soon and said "Not right now, Brad. Not professional."Clemmie stood there looking at me like a goof long enough for me to get a little.
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