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“Why aren’t you walking around the house?” “I can’t go that far away from the remote.” she sobbed. “I can’t come in until I walk around the house, but if I go any further from the remote, I’ll… I’ll…” “You’ll what, Lilly.” “I don’t know.” she whispered. “Please help me?” “Come with me.” he said. “Disregard the order to walk around the house.” “Oh, thank you, thank you.” she sobbed, hugging him. He put his arm around her and walked her back inside, then took the collar off. “What are you doing?” she asked, alarmed at seeing him open the box housing the circuitry. “Integrating the remote, so there’s no more distance restrictions.” he said, distractedly. “It means the collar is going to need to be plugged in to be programmed, but this one already is, so I can disconnect most of the guts and put them right into the top of the cover here.” His hands were busy while he spoke, and wandered back to his office a few minutes later. He soldered a couple things, then super-glued two. ”“So while she’s involved in my rehab, I’m involved in hers, too?” I joked.“Exactly!” said my naked wife, taking me seriously. I couldn’t believe it. But because she took me seriously, I had to respond seriously.“Honey, I have enough on my plate as it is. Doing sex therapy with your mother is way more than I can tackle.”“Okay, I get that, but she’s made so much progress. Please encourage her, at least.”“I’ll try to set her up with one of my buddies,” I said.“Don’t joke about this!” she snapped. “This is my mother I’m talking about!”“I have to joke a little,” I said. “Think about it. My wife is asking me to do things... sexual things ... with her mother. You have to admit that’s kind of odd.”“Maybe for everybody else, but this is us. I’m not threatened by this. I’m happy about it, Bob! I’ve read all about the PTSD and depression wounded vets go through, and erectile dysfunction is common among them! My mother helped make sure that didn’t happen to you! So I don’t care about everybody.
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