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She talked to me for hours, trying to explain. She never realized that I wasn't talking back. Everything she had to say just convinced me that there was nothing I could do to fix or fight this. It was a done deal. I felt betrayed. I had invested 30 years in our relationship, 26 years on a marriage, all the while hearing from her how important our vows were, how jealous she'd be if I cheated, how I was everything to her, her entire world.My mind raced through all of the "should haves." I should have taken a pass on marriage. I should have read the sexual signs sooner. I should have gone out for some extra-curricular fun while I was young. I should have dated girls for their big tits and adeptness at blow jobs and kinky sex. I shouldn't have traded all the supposedly shallow delights for the opportunity to have a beautiful life with a woman who wanted to grow old with me."Damn," I thought. "What am I thinking? I wouldn't have had my k**s or those amazing years with Andrea." Andrea, do. But it wasn’t enough. I stuck a finger in my pussy and shoved it in and out. The right idea, but not enough. I gave myself an orgasm and tried to think about other things but ten minutes later I was masturbating again. I stuck in two fingers. I felt a tear and there was a little blood. I didn’t care. Another orgasm and more restless fidgeting, staring at a homework book without seeing what was on the page. I stuck in three fingers and shoved them in as far as I could, then fucked them in and out. More the right idea, but not enough. I masturbated with the one hand while I shoved the fingers in and out with the other. I had another big orgasm. Still not enough. I wanted that cock in my pussy. I wanted a big, muscular man like that to lie on me. I wanted to get drunk on all that masculinity. But most of all I wanted the cock in my pussy, all the way in my pussy, deep, banging in and out. That’s what I wanted. That’s what I still want. And I can’t have it, and that sucks. That sucks so.
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