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The parachute training went well; the meeting with Miriam not quite so well.It started off OK – we were both on our best behaviour, and we had even exchanged a kiss. My mother and Vivian had gone up West to a show and a meal and wouldn't be back until gone midnight, so Miriam and I had the house to ourselves.Once again Miriam apologised for not being at home when I returned to the UK, and I, noble bloke that I am, forgave her, and admitted that maybe I should have given her a telephone number to reach me.So far so good. We both then apologised for what we had said to each other that terrible time after her parents died – and then is when it started to go pear shaped, and I have to say that it was all Miriam's fault."You said some horrible things to me, Des. It's taken me a long time to forgive you, but I don't think I will ever forget you saying that you would find a real woman, a woman who would give you children and also satisfy you in bed. That really hurt me."I admitted that what. What does this make me. Am I a slut? I never thought I would question if I was that word. But oh my God I had just given oral sex to two boys one after the other. If I heard another girl did that I would call her that in a heartbeat. But am I? I walked the rest of the way home, not feeling very good about myself. That evening I kept pondering who I was more. I mean, this guy, Scott, varsity quarter back. When school started he would be a senior and me just a freshman. Had he really done what it appeared he had did. I mean my sister knew his girlfriend was Sara. And I’m pretty sure that was her voice on the phone. Did he really break up with her for me. And what had I agreed to? To do anything he asked? And what did that mean? I had learned a couple things it meant. It meant changing clothes in front of him even getting completely naked. It meant giving him a blowjob. It meant being topless while giving him a blow job. And today, today I guess it even meant.
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