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Now, I want ya ta back away fer 3 steps and take off yer boots. Ya kin sit on the floor ifen ya need ta."When McBride took off his left boot, a derringer fell to the floor. When he took off his right boot, a sheathed knife was visible strapped to his ankle. Caleb said, "OK, remove that sheath from yer right ankle an' drop it on the floor. Then ya kin scoot back a couple of feet an' put yer boots back on." Once McBride had his boots back on, Caleb said, "OK, now lean with yer hands on the bar an' yer feet back about 4 feet and spread about 3 feet. I want yer weight on yer hands."After McBride had assumed that position and was looking very uncomfortable, Caleb retrieved the two knives which he slipped under his belt and the derringer which he dropped into his pocket. Once this was done, Caleb was surprised to hear general applause from the men scattered about the saloon. The bartender even remarked, "Well, Marshal, that was cleanly done! I ain't never seen a man disarmed more slick. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’5. He does not act like a’TOTAL ASS’- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s.The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.”“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.”“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in me favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!”The Englishman and Scotsman were.
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