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. marry a man, didn't you?Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.Send this to all the men just to annoy them!You... ... have a GREAT Day!!!Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.We don't stop laughing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop laughing.I was taught to respect my elders. It's just getting harder to find them.This one is compliments of SamThere are a few repeats but they are worth a second readUnderstanding Engineers #1:Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."Understanding Engineers #2:To. MOVE!" There was a pause. "Are you moving? Good. No, she can't -- do you have any idea how difficult this is?" Put it on speaker," I told her, and pointed her at a corner.She did so. "Yes I do, Mom," poured from the speaker, "that's why I'm having a hard time believing you! Tina got caught outside a pickup -- they use some kind of field, and you can't get in or out!" I'm going to try to get you after the field is released," I said into the phone. "No promises -- and if I manage, you'll owe me, BIG time, all of you -- but your mama is gone, whether you make it or not!" Who is this?" Names wouldn't matter to you, but I'm running this circle-jerk," I replied. "Are you peddling your little pink butt over here? When all of the acts are over we're folding the tent and saying bye bye -- and if you aren't here..." We're coming! We're coming!" someone screamed in the background. "Five minutes!" I'll leave the delicate part of the negotiation to you," I told Vickie. "Their asses are all mine,.
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