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Thank God, the crowd ran away and left the field to the fighting men.The regular bodyguards all had spears and knew how to use them. The bearers had khopeshes and knew how to use them. I had a mace and a khopesh and knew how to use them. The upshot was that the attackers did not have a chance, and I wondered who could have been so stupid as to think that they did.The battle lasted only five minutes or so, and most of the would-be assassins escaped simply because they made a point to stay out of reach of the Army spears. In fact, I never had a chance to swing either of my weapons because of the superlative work done by the soldiers. I planned to make a point of that to the pharaoh.The whole attack was a farce, and I could see no point to it. Maybe I would find out later. In any case, the palanquin was lifted, and I helped the pharaoh to his feet. Immediately, several retainers rushed up to brush him off. He suffered through that as only a pharaoh could and stepped back into his seat. "Uncle Bob you're not supposed to talk about my butt. That makes you a dirty old man."Bob now had enough information to know he was talking to his sixteen year old niece, Alice. "Well sweetheart, I can't help it if you sound like a grown woman. I been calling your mamma for years now and whenever a grown woman answered it was always her. How was I supposed to know you had grown up so much?" He got an urge. "Besides, isn't your secret nick name 'Apple Ass'?" This was a reference to the name she'd gotten because of her job. She worked in an apple orchard and her tight little butt was the shape of a couple of nice big apples packed into her jeans. Bob went on teasing. "Besides, the last time I saw you your own butt was pretty fine looking. So in one way you'd have to admit that not only do you SOUND like your mamma, you LOOK like her too!" You're incorrigible" giggled the girl."Here's mamma," she said and he heard her blow him a kiss. He had a sudden mental vision of those soft, pursed.
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