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While many will not experience these steps in a linear course, the following steps capture essential components of the coming out process. These steps are not necessarily mutually exclusive and can be experienced simultaneously. For example other theorists have said that it is not uncommon for people go back and forth in their sexual identity development.Step One: Identity Confusion.“Who am I?” is the major question in this step. People in this stage of the coming out process start to notice their attraction to same-sex people and really question what it means. Am I gay? Am I a lesbian? Am I transgendered? Am I bisexual? Within this stage there may be a denial of inner feelings as a person continues to see themselves as a member of the mainstream, heterosexual population. Some may consider their behaviors as ‘just experimenting’. Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships. ”“Anyway, I’m not sure I want to be on a floating petri dish. Thanks, but no thanks.”I just grunted an acknowledgement at that. We had discussed that topic before. I wasn’t going to argue about it with Kelly.“So, Sandals again?”, she asked. “And you scrub my back if I ask?”I smiled. “Just making sure I understand my job. I’m supposed to make the money...”“You’ve already done that,” she interjected.“ ... and you’re supposed to spend the money.”“Precisely.”“And I get what out of this deal?”The answer was a detailed description of what was going to happen later that evening, and what would happen much more frequently on vacation, even during daylight hours. As expected, I caved in and agreed. We would do something in the springtime. We had already been to the Bahamas and to St Lucia, so maybe we’d try something different this time. As Kelly said at one point, the next time we’d take a trip like this we’d probably be in our forties and about to die from senility and decrepitude.Until.
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