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I ignored the voice, of course Desiree was worth it. So I laughed dismissively at Desiree. Dont lie to me, I told her, pulling off my tight T-shirt, baring my lovely breasts and my hard nipples pierced with silver barbells. I grabbed her face and turned her to look at them. I could see her eyes flick down to my nipples, a momentary flash of lust. Dont lie to me and tell me you dont want me. I know you do. Just like I want you, Desiree. That was the wrong thing to say. Desiree grabbed me and pushed me onto my back. Thats all you want. My body! She yanked the baggy shirt off, exposing those magnificent breasts of hers and shook them at me. Here it is, Alison. Use me! Take your pleasure! Tears started running down her face. Thats all Im good for! No, I dont want your body, I told her. I want you. I love you. How can you love such a filthy, disgusting creature like me, Desiree sobbed. I let him touch me. He…used every part of my body. I let him! I let that monster make me his whore! I. Oh yes and the grassy section here, well the brush strokes are so sloppy, just awful. And those are just a few of the mistakes. No, this is nothing but an advanced paint by number. I tried to turn down the gala opening, but was pressured into it. I feel like such a fool for hanging these things up.’ With that he shook his head and sulked away. I sat there dumfounded. I turned back to the painting and just could not understand how he could nit pick and point out such petty flaws. No one looked at a painting and saw those things! They looked at the picture as a whole and– My thoughts were stopped in their tracks, and I thought back to myself, standing in front of the mirror, finding every tiny thing wrong with me. Things that my husband, and many others, just did not see. They saw me as a whole, as who I am, all wrapped up together in a body that may not be perfect but that is not what they wanted. They did not expect perfection did they, when they looked at my body. Just as when I.
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